The Insanity Continues

I know I haven't posted in like forever, not counting the Snowflake challenge responses, but I found TikTok (same username, if you're wondering) and have enjoyed being able to just make a quick video whenever I have something I want to talk about.

But recently, something happened that is making me not want to post over there any longer. And since I don't know how it happened, I refuse to allow it to happen again.

My daughter got engaged in October and quickly settled on March 2024 for her wedding date. Her fiance is an HVAC tech, and she's a hairdresser. Her busy time is around the holidays (September to December), and his is summer.

At Christmas, I asked her if she still wanted me to walk her down the aisle (back when she was considering going no contact with her father, she said she wanted me to walk her since I'm the one who actually raised her). She turned to me and said, 'I will not have anyone walk me down the aisle because that is an outdated, misogynistic custom. I am not property to be given away' in a very nasty voice. I feel like if we had been alone or outside, she would have screamed it at me, that's how forcefully she said it.

I backed off and didn't say anything else about it. Later in the day, I saw her talking to my sister-in-law (a woman she has stated to me that she does not like). When they finished talking, my daughter approached my dad, and when I looked back at my SIL, she winked at me.

I later found out that my SIL had talked her into asking my dad to walk her down the aisle.

She did not ask him at Christmas. She asked if she could take him to lunch on New Year's Day. She asked him then.

I made a post on TikTok about how this hurt my feelings because we had previously discussed me doing that and how adamantly she stated that she was not going to have someone walk her down the aisle. I never once said she owed me anything or that she couldn't have my dad walk her down the aisle. I merely stated that I was hurt that she all but shouted me down about this tradition and then went and asked my dad to do it.

People came to my comments and told me I was being selfish. How? All I did was tell a bunch of strangers how it hurt to know my daughter didn't want to have this special moment with me. If, when I asked, she had said, 'I think I want Granddaddy to walk me' I wouldn't have been as hurt. But I went online because I was not going to let her know my feelings had been hurt by this because I didn't think she should know.

Before I go on, I should mention that when we went dress shopping (my mother, his mother, and one of his aunts (I want to say his sister, too, but I can't remember), we went to lunch after. During lunch, the conversation turned to what she was going to do for her something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. I mentioned that I have something for her something blue that I've had since 2007 (we went on a Disney cruise and got a couple of sapphire chips). I planned to have them turned into earrings that I would present to her on her wedding day as she gets dressed. She snapped, 'I'm not removing my earrings' (she wears a pair of sapphire studs that are the first gift he ever gave her, as well as a pair of opal studs he gave her for her last birthday). So, there are now two special moments that she has shut down before they could even take place.

She has stated numerous times that she'll be getting ready at another of his aunt's house because she lives close to the venue. Both she and my mother have said that my mother and I will arrive at the venue fully dressed. She also told me that I have to do my own hair and makeup, not that I expected her hair and makeup person to do me (although I got my hair done at the same time and by the same person who did my SIL and I wasn't in the wedding party).

I made another post saying that I was beginning to feel like she didn't want me to be involved in her wedding. By this time, I had also offered to officiate, but she asked her therapist instead.

There was also a comment I made about the cake tasting. She seems to be under the impression that the pieces provided are going to be just one or two bites each (I think they're usually enough for three or four bites especially if everyone uses a fork and takes just a small amount). I said that if there is a flavor I don't think I'll like, I won't taste it, leaving more for everyone else. She blew up; demanding to know which flavors. Then she hung up on me (but told my mother she thinks I hung up on her (I have moved, and my new place is in a bit of a dead zone (I rarely have more than one bar)) so my mother says the call must have dropped).

Someone (his mother most likely) found my videos and showed them to her so she canceled Mother's Day plans. When I called my mother, she yelled at me for 'airing our dirty laundry on the internet'. I was supposed to go to my grandmother's (she lives much closer than my parents now) to do my laundry a couple of days later but didn't want there to be any tension, so I said I'd find somewhere else to do my laundry and hung up.

My mother sent me several long winded texts, pretending to take some blame but really not because she is emotionally abusive. I didn't reply because I didn't (and still don't) want to argue about this.

I did not text or call my daughter during this time because I was respecting her boundaries.

I have allowed my daughter and her fiance to have my Hulu and Netflix passwords and decided that if my daughter had not texted or called by the end of the month, then I would change the passwords and remove them from my accounts and consider myself uninvited from her wedding.

But she texted me yesterday. So, I called my mother.

She forced me into the argument I had been trying to avoid. I told her that she does not get to tell me how I use my social media accounts. She tried saying that she understands that I use it to vent but said that I shouldn't turn off comments or block people (only people I have blocked are my soon-to-be son-in-law, his mother, and the women I work with (I do not friend coworkers on social media)).

The colors my daughter has settled on are sage green and lavender (she had originally said sapphire blue since sapphire is her birthstone but changed it since it's a spring-ish wedding). I had already made a wishlist of sapphire blue dresses (I'm in the process of losing weight so won't be buying my dress until much closer to the wedding). I now need to find sage green or lavender (she has not said which color she wants me to wear).

Today she texted saying that we need to start looking for me a dress. I told her that since I'm buying my own, it will be one I can wear again and will be bought from a regular store (AKA off the rack). She said she didn't say it had to be tailored, but she wants the dress issue settled by Christmas. I didn't reply, but I will not have my dress by then, and she can just deal with it. Especially, since I don't feel like this is something I have to adhere to since my size will most likely change between Christmas and her wedding. In MARCH!

So I did something I swore I'd never do: I read my daughter's journal.

And found out that she's had sex with more than one guy. So she lied about that. And has had boys over when I'm not home. Lied about that, too. Also, she's thinking of being fuck buddies with some guy.

I tried calling my mother but they're at the Rangers game and she didn't seem concerned.

I have no idea what to do. I can't do surprise visits to the house to see if my daughter is obeying the rule of 'no boys in the house'. Times like this I wish I was rich.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

As y'all know, I live in Texas and we don't get much in the way of winter weather.

With the exception of February 2011 it hasn't truly snowed since I was a young child. They've been predicting snow for about a week now and I wasn't inclined to believe them. But it is snowing right now.

I don't see it sticking to anything other than trees, grass, cars and buildings since it has been so warm, but that doesn't matter to Vic. It appears she's more excited about the snow that's not gonna be around for more than a day than she is about the TV and phone I got her for Christmas.

Oh, and Merry Christmas (or whichever winter holiday you celebrate) and Happy New Year to each and everyone of you.

Now with bonus pictures!

So last Friday I sent Rob that email. When I read it to Vic she told me it was wonderfully sarcastic and even though she was afraid he'd get angry with her she thought it was wonderful.

She was supposed to go to his house, it was his actual weekend, but when she texted him he said he was 'unaware' it was his weekend and April was already home. She calls and the conversation was mostly her saying things like 'I had no idea her schedule had changed'. She had to have said that at least ten times in the two or three minutes they talked.

Well, she wanted to go, not sure why since he doesn't even really like her half the time, so I took her. Shortly after I got back home I got a text from her saying he was refusing to pay for her surgery, dance and/or choir trip. Oh, and he also had an argument with my mother.

I called Mom to get her side of things and was told he was insisting he was only paying $50 for the surgery.

So I texted him and what follows is the conversation I had with him/April.( Just cause )

My ex is such an ass.

I called him, actually I called the new wife since her and I can 'talk' without yelling, to tell him that I received the first statement and that I need his payment soon. He emailed me at 8 last night, not sure how he got my email address, to ask for the information of the loan company.

Since I'm using this as an opportunity to get reimbursed for the $1000 I paid for his truck I'm refusing to give them that information.

He's now refusing to pay because of that. I've told him the company will only accept payment from me, which is not a lie because I did ask, and said I can get him a receipt if he's worried about it not going to the bill. I've also told him that since he's refusing to pay this, which he's saying he's not but he is (he said so), I told him he has to pay for Vic's dance and choir trip. Both of those together is going to be well over $200. Not sure of the exact total because we don't know how much the trip payments will be yet but since the trip's to New York it'll most likely be $200 or more and her dance is $105. So actually those payments will probably be over $300.

So, my ex came by to check on Vic. Everything was going fine until Vic asked about her half-brothers. He said one was playing/sleeping and the other was playing. She asked which was which and he said, "Christopher was on the floor playing with your mom." I went o_O and asked, "Did you just call April her mother?" He nodded and said, "I did." I told him, "How dare you come into my house and call another woman my daughter's mother!?" He tired to say it was the first time but I know it wasn't. There's no way it would have fallen from his lips that easily if it was. Not to mention there was a time when Vic would get punished if she didn't call April 'Mom'. It would be different if I wasn't around but I am, and I have full custody. Rob only has visitation rights.

Vic had her wisdom teeth out today and I must admit she's hilarious when stoned. Wonder if I should video tape the next time I change her ice packs. Hm.

Anyway, I just now changed them and she said, "They took my tongue, Mama. They were only supposed to take my teeth." She even started crying.

ETA: She asked me to video her talking.

Here are my plans for the weekend:

I was going to go see Prometheus tonight after work but Vic and I have had very little time to watch the shows we watch together so decided to come home instead so we can do that. After she goes to her father’s I’ll catch up on my shows.

Tomorrow I’ll be going to the first showing at Studio Movie Grill, they make a fabulous grill cheese. After that I need to buy some new bras, I currently only have three good ones and when I forget to wash them (like I did Wednesday) I have to wear an old one that doesn’t fit well. I then need to get some office supplies, need a foot stool for under my desk (my foot still swells especially when I wear my ballet flats), some pens (red and black are the only colors provided), pop-up Post-its and a rubber finger tip to help sort papers.

Oh, and I want to stop at Fry’s to see if they have Three Rivers or Dark Blue box sets for sale. And also want to stop at Havertys to see if I can find a price on this arm chair Vic wants for her room. And I need to pay the parental units this month's car payment.

Then on Sunday I plan on cleaning my room and hopefully my bathroom as well.