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Dec. 29th, 2016 06:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
logans_girl2001This might get long but even if it doesn't, it is a full on rant so it's under a cut.
Over the past year or so I've come to realize that my mother has been emotionally abusing me most of my life and the older I get the harsher her abuse. It's like she can't stand that I'm perfectly happy sitting on my ass fucking around on my laptop watching TV (because she isn't happy doing that herself).
For most of this year I've gotten a text from her a few days after there has been a get together at her house where she bitches about some imagined slight/drama that didn't actually happen and says that she's never going to get together with all of us ever again. Or that she's going to stop giving advice. Or that she's going to stay out of our lives because she obviously can't say anything right. Or some other emotional abusive thing.
We would probably believe her if she didn't say this ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Or if she actually did what she said. It's gotten to where my daughter and I just roll our eyes at each other.
This all came to a head last Christmas when she caused a dust-up between my brother's oldest daughter and his step-daughter. This is one of the things she does: she'll twist your words or she'll tell the other person something you said about them out of context. And then she'll sit back and play the victim, claiming that she has such an unloving family that never wants to spend time together.
As far as I can remember she didn't do this after Thanksgiving. Although she did cry most of the day because my brother and his family refused to come. Because she does group texts where she pits people against each other and the last few have been me and my brother.
Christmas Eve I spent the day at her house with her, my dad, my daughter, my oldest niece, and her daughter and boyfriend. We ate breakfast and opened gifts. And then sat in the den watching my dad flip through channels. She kept trying to get us to play games but none of wanted to.
In the afternoon, my niece, her boyfriend, my daughter, and I went shopping. While out, we decided to eat something. When we got back she got upset because we ate without her. And that's another thing she does. If we don't invite her every time we go somewhere she pouts.
I thought the day was a good one, with the exception of some meltdowns from my niece's daughter (she's special needs so the least little thing will set her off) but obviously it wasn't because she sent a 'poor victim me' group text a few days ago.
While looking through Facebook yesterday I reposted this:
As you can see, there is only one name mentioned (my daughter's which is why it's blocked out). Now, I freely admit that I posted it because I'm tired of being emotionally abused by my mother.
This morning I woke up to the following texts:
Dad to just me: I think you need to find the right definition for narcissistic.
Mom to me and my daughter: [me], what you posted just hurt. Thank God my friends and most family members know this is reversed to you. I know I have faults in the mess. But at least I know and reorganize when I am wrong and on up to it.
You are [my daughter] have yet to admit to your fault in this disfunction all of family.
This is why I am backing away and drawing closer to God in changing me.
Thank God for [niece's boyfriend] and [niece]. They are here to help without asking, pray together, cry and love together. And mostly Jesus for holding me close and giving me a strong church family to lean on.
I love you but [me] to public hurt me again, like calling the police is a hurt I want let go until to you are ready to ask for my forgiveness.
Dad to me and my daughter: I am not very happy about you posting comments about your mother on Facebook. If you feel that way about her at least have courage to say it to her face.
You guys just don't understand what you are doing to her. I expect to hear that you both sincerely apologize to her for the narcissist remark.
And now my rebuttal:
1) Like I said, no where does it say this was about my mother. My daughter has three grandmothers and I know that her step-grandmother is just as bad (if not worse) than my mother in the narcissist department.
2) She does not actually admit when she's wrong. Sending the same 'Everything I do is wrong so I'm just not going to do anything ever again!' text doesn't count. I hate that the woman cannot text properly (misspellings, missed words, etc).
2a) My niece is only there because she lives there (and my mother is about two seconds from kicking her and her daughter out on the street) and has to pretend to be on her side.
2b) The incident with the police: Christmas 2006. I had some unexpected financial emergencies (my brakes went out) and I was strapped for cash to pay my bills. I had asked my mother for assistance but then we had a fight and I told her not to bother. She then told me that she was going to give me my Christmas gift ($100 cash) early. Until I told her I would use that for my bills. She decided that she could tell me what to spend my gift money on. Christmas Eve I got called by my ex-husband's new wife telling me they were on their way to bring my daughter home. The original plan was for him to take her to my mother's but I told them to bring her to me (at this point I was undecided as to whether or not we were even going over there). Then I got a call from my mother (who was really bitchy to me) saying that my daughter had been dropped at her house. So I went to get her because this was the final straw (I found out later that my mother called my ex and told him to bring my daughter to her). I got to her house and called for her to come out. My dad refused and told me to call the cops if I didn't like it. So I did. When the cops arrived one of them was an asshole to me. My dad came out and called me names and my mother said that this was all because she wouldn't give me money. Honestly, it wasn't. It was about her emotionally abusing me (not that I knew that at the time). So Officer Asshole called me a brat and told me to grow up. Not sure how that publicly embarrassed her since only the people at her house knew it happened because the cops DID NOT arrive with lights and sirens so the neighbors were totally unaware (if they were even home).
3) I keep checking to make sure I didn't miss them, but there were NO COMMENTS. My daughter 'liked' the post but that was it.
3a) Like hell I'm gonna apologize! That woman has been abusing me most of my life and he's been complicit in it. And I am DONE!
I've asked him why he thinks that post was about her (even though it was I'm not gonna admit it to either of them) but he has yet to respond. I've since unfriended them both on Facebook. But more than all that, I think their reaction to this (with absolutely no evidence) proves that they're both narcissistic because they came utterly unglued and tried to twist this back on me while playing the victim.
Over the past year or so I've come to realize that my mother has been emotionally abusing me most of my life and the older I get the harsher her abuse. It's like she can't stand that I'm perfectly happy sitting on my ass fucking around on my laptop watching TV (because she isn't happy doing that herself).
For most of this year I've gotten a text from her a few days after there has been a get together at her house where she bitches about some imagined slight/drama that didn't actually happen and says that she's never going to get together with all of us ever again. Or that she's going to stop giving advice. Or that she's going to stay out of our lives because she obviously can't say anything right. Or some other emotional abusive thing.
We would probably believe her if she didn't say this ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Or if she actually did what she said. It's gotten to where my daughter and I just roll our eyes at each other.
This all came to a head last Christmas when she caused a dust-up between my brother's oldest daughter and his step-daughter. This is one of the things she does: she'll twist your words or she'll tell the other person something you said about them out of context. And then she'll sit back and play the victim, claiming that she has such an unloving family that never wants to spend time together.
As far as I can remember she didn't do this after Thanksgiving. Although she did cry most of the day because my brother and his family refused to come. Because she does group texts where she pits people against each other and the last few have been me and my brother.
Christmas Eve I spent the day at her house with her, my dad, my daughter, my oldest niece, and her daughter and boyfriend. We ate breakfast and opened gifts. And then sat in the den watching my dad flip through channels. She kept trying to get us to play games but none of wanted to.
In the afternoon, my niece, her boyfriend, my daughter, and I went shopping. While out, we decided to eat something. When we got back she got upset because we ate without her. And that's another thing she does. If we don't invite her every time we go somewhere she pouts.
I thought the day was a good one, with the exception of some meltdowns from my niece's daughter (she's special needs so the least little thing will set her off) but obviously it wasn't because she sent a 'poor victim me' group text a few days ago.
While looking through Facebook yesterday I reposted this:
As you can see, there is only one name mentioned (my daughter's which is why it's blocked out). Now, I freely admit that I posted it because I'm tired of being emotionally abused by my mother.
This morning I woke up to the following texts:
Dad to just me: I think you need to find the right definition for narcissistic.
Mom to me and my daughter: [me], what you posted just hurt. Thank God my friends and most family members know this is reversed to you. I know I have faults in the mess. But at least I know and reorganize when I am wrong and on up to it.
You are [my daughter] have yet to admit to your fault in this disfunction all of family.
This is why I am backing away and drawing closer to God in changing me.
Thank God for [niece's boyfriend] and [niece]. They are here to help without asking, pray together, cry and love together. And mostly Jesus for holding me close and giving me a strong church family to lean on.
I love you but [me] to public hurt me again, like calling the police is a hurt I want let go until to you are ready to ask for my forgiveness.
Dad to me and my daughter: I am not very happy about you posting comments about your mother on Facebook. If you feel that way about her at least have courage to say it to her face.
You guys just don't understand what you are doing to her. I expect to hear that you both sincerely apologize to her for the narcissist remark.
And now my rebuttal:
1) Like I said, no where does it say this was about my mother. My daughter has three grandmothers and I know that her step-grandmother is just as bad (if not worse) than my mother in the narcissist department.
2) She does not actually admit when she's wrong. Sending the same 'Everything I do is wrong so I'm just not going to do anything ever again!' text doesn't count. I hate that the woman cannot text properly (misspellings, missed words, etc).
2a) My niece is only there because she lives there (and my mother is about two seconds from kicking her and her daughter out on the street) and has to pretend to be on her side.
2b) The incident with the police: Christmas 2006. I had some unexpected financial emergencies (my brakes went out) and I was strapped for cash to pay my bills. I had asked my mother for assistance but then we had a fight and I told her not to bother. She then told me that she was going to give me my Christmas gift ($100 cash) early. Until I told her I would use that for my bills. She decided that she could tell me what to spend my gift money on. Christmas Eve I got called by my ex-husband's new wife telling me they were on their way to bring my daughter home. The original plan was for him to take her to my mother's but I told them to bring her to me (at this point I was undecided as to whether or not we were even going over there). Then I got a call from my mother (who was really bitchy to me) saying that my daughter had been dropped at her house. So I went to get her because this was the final straw (I found out later that my mother called my ex and told him to bring my daughter to her). I got to her house and called for her to come out. My dad refused and told me to call the cops if I didn't like it. So I did. When the cops arrived one of them was an asshole to me. My dad came out and called me names and my mother said that this was all because she wouldn't give me money. Honestly, it wasn't. It was about her emotionally abusing me (not that I knew that at the time). So Officer Asshole called me a brat and told me to grow up. Not sure how that publicly embarrassed her since only the people at her house knew it happened because the cops DID NOT arrive with lights and sirens so the neighbors were totally unaware (if they were even home).
3) I keep checking to make sure I didn't miss them, but there were NO COMMENTS. My daughter 'liked' the post but that was it.
3a) Like hell I'm gonna apologize! That woman has been abusing me most of my life and he's been complicit in it. And I am DONE!
I've asked him why he thinks that post was about her (even though it was I'm not gonna admit it to either of them) but he has yet to respond. I've since unfriended them both on Facebook. But more than all that, I think their reaction to this (with absolutely no evidence) proves that they're both narcissistic because they came utterly unglued and tried to twist this back on me while playing the victim.
