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Feb. 1st, 2013 08:40 pmSo I had a panic attack at work today. It started early and wasn't totally out of the blue.
When I got to work, I found a note from Jessy telling me to research my over/shorts for the week. I seriously do not have time for this but I did it anyway. After I found what I could, I took everything into her office. We looked it over and she helped me find a few of the ones I couldn't on my own.
One of the things was that a store has yet to enter a day's deposit in the computer, not really a big deal since they have yet to send me the deposit slips (but they either arrived today or will arrive Monday). But she told me that I need to verify the deposit slips whether or not I'm finished with the previous week's work.
I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
Especially since she wants me to do this Monday. Verifying the deposit slips for the RCOs I'm currently working on took me most of Wednesday and an hour or two of Thursday. I do not see how I can get all this done in time to close the month on 2/13.
I went back to my desk and cried, while working, for nearly an hour. And when I say I cried, I was sobbing (quietly which I didn't even know was possible).
Eventually my tears dried up but I kept my glasses off because they were streaked with my tears and I didn't have time to clean them.
I cried off and on for the rest of the day. I really needed to leave but I couldn't afford to, work wise. When the attack first started I texted Rachel asking for help but she was sleeping and didn't hear her phone, but I muddled through.
A little after 1, Rachel texted me back and she tried to make me feel better. I said that I feel I should go home and she said to go ask. I was positive that Jessy would say no because I have too much to do but Rachel kept telling me I need to take care of me and not worry about what needs to be done at work.
So I went to tell Jessy and broke down. I sobbed for about five minutes. Eventually she started asking about Vic. I guess she either has anxiety or knows someone who does because she seemed to know exactly what to do at that moment.
I really wish she had at least rubbed my arm in comfort. I feel like no one truly cares at this point, even though she talked me through the panic attack, because not only did she not comfort me with touch, she tried to talk me into staying the rest of my shift (when I went to her office I had about an hour and forty-five minutes left in the day).
She finally told me I could go around 2:40. I can use an hour of PTO but I'm still, somehow, eleven minutes short (going into today I was over twenty-one minutes, so not sure how I ended up short).
Right now, my head hurts from crying, I took a two hour nap but am still tired and have to be social first thing tomorrow morning which sucks the most because all I want to do is crawl into a big hole and not come out for days or weeks.
When I got to work, I found a note from Jessy telling me to research my over/shorts for the week. I seriously do not have time for this but I did it anyway. After I found what I could, I took everything into her office. We looked it over and she helped me find a few of the ones I couldn't on my own.
One of the things was that a store has yet to enter a day's deposit in the computer, not really a big deal since they have yet to send me the deposit slips (but they either arrived today or will arrive Monday). But she told me that I need to verify the deposit slips whether or not I'm finished with the previous week's work.
I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
Especially since she wants me to do this Monday. Verifying the deposit slips for the RCOs I'm currently working on took me most of Wednesday and an hour or two of Thursday. I do not see how I can get all this done in time to close the month on 2/13.
I went back to my desk and cried, while working, for nearly an hour. And when I say I cried, I was sobbing (quietly which I didn't even know was possible).
Eventually my tears dried up but I kept my glasses off because they were streaked with my tears and I didn't have time to clean them.
I cried off and on for the rest of the day. I really needed to leave but I couldn't afford to, work wise. When the attack first started I texted Rachel asking for help but she was sleeping and didn't hear her phone, but I muddled through.
A little after 1, Rachel texted me back and she tried to make me feel better. I said that I feel I should go home and she said to go ask. I was positive that Jessy would say no because I have too much to do but Rachel kept telling me I need to take care of me and not worry about what needs to be done at work.
So I went to tell Jessy and broke down. I sobbed for about five minutes. Eventually she started asking about Vic. I guess she either has anxiety or knows someone who does because she seemed to know exactly what to do at that moment.
I really wish she had at least rubbed my arm in comfort. I feel like no one truly cares at this point, even though she talked me through the panic attack, because not only did she not comfort me with touch, she tried to talk me into staying the rest of my shift (when I went to her office I had about an hour and forty-five minutes left in the day).
She finally told me I could go around 2:40. I can use an hour of PTO but I'm still, somehow, eleven minutes short (going into today I was over twenty-one minutes, so not sure how I ended up short).
Right now, my head hurts from crying, I took a two hour nap but am still tired and have to be social first thing tomorrow morning which sucks the most because all I want to do is crawl into a big hole and not come out for days or weeks.
