I know I haven't posted in like forever, not counting the Snowflake challenge responses, but I found TikTok (same username, if you're wondering) and have enjoyed being able to just make a quick video whenever I have something I want to talk about.

But recently, something happened that is making me not want to post over there any longer. And since I don't know how it happened, I refuse to allow it to happen again.

My daughter got engaged in October and quickly settled on March 2024 for her wedding date. Her fiance is an HVAC tech, and she's a hairdresser. Her busy time is around the holidays (September to December), and his is summer.

At Christmas, I asked her if she still wanted me to walk her down the aisle (back when she was considering going no contact with her father, she said she wanted me to walk her since I'm the one who actually raised her). She turned to me and said, 'I will not have anyone walk me down the aisle because that is an outdated, misogynistic custom. I am not property to be given away' in a very nasty voice. I feel like if we had been alone or outside, she would have screamed it at me, that's how forcefully she said it.

I backed off and didn't say anything else about it. Later in the day, I saw her talking to my sister-in-law (a woman she has stated to me that she does not like). When they finished talking, my daughter approached my dad, and when I looked back at my SIL, she winked at me.

I later found out that my SIL had talked her into asking my dad to walk her down the aisle.

She did not ask him at Christmas. She asked if she could take him to lunch on New Year's Day. She asked him then.

I made a post on TikTok about how this hurt my feelings because we had previously discussed me doing that and how adamantly she stated that she was not going to have someone walk her down the aisle. I never once said she owed me anything or that she couldn't have my dad walk her down the aisle. I merely stated that I was hurt that she all but shouted me down about this tradition and then went and asked my dad to do it.

People came to my comments and told me I was being selfish. How? All I did was tell a bunch of strangers how it hurt to know my daughter didn't want to have this special moment with me. If, when I asked, she had said, 'I think I want Granddaddy to walk me' I wouldn't have been as hurt. But I went online because I was not going to let her know my feelings had been hurt by this because I didn't think she should know.

Before I go on, I should mention that when we went dress shopping (my mother, his mother, and one of his aunts (I want to say his sister, too, but I can't remember), we went to lunch after. During lunch, the conversation turned to what she was going to do for her something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. I mentioned that I have something for her something blue that I've had since 2007 (we went on a Disney cruise and got a couple of sapphire chips). I planned to have them turned into earrings that I would present to her on her wedding day as she gets dressed. She snapped, 'I'm not removing my earrings' (she wears a pair of sapphire studs that are the first gift he ever gave her, as well as a pair of opal studs he gave her for her last birthday). So, there are now two special moments that she has shut down before they could even take place.

She has stated numerous times that she'll be getting ready at another of his aunt's house because she lives close to the venue. Both she and my mother have said that my mother and I will arrive at the venue fully dressed. She also told me that I have to do my own hair and makeup, not that I expected her hair and makeup person to do me (although I got my hair done at the same time and by the same person who did my SIL and I wasn't in the wedding party).

I made another post saying that I was beginning to feel like she didn't want me to be involved in her wedding. By this time, I had also offered to officiate, but she asked her therapist instead.

There was also a comment I made about the cake tasting. She seems to be under the impression that the pieces provided are going to be just one or two bites each (I think they're usually enough for three or four bites especially if everyone uses a fork and takes just a small amount). I said that if there is a flavor I don't think I'll like, I won't taste it, leaving more for everyone else. She blew up; demanding to know which flavors. Then she hung up on me (but told my mother she thinks I hung up on her (I have moved, and my new place is in a bit of a dead zone (I rarely have more than one bar)) so my mother says the call must have dropped).

Someone (his mother most likely) found my videos and showed them to her so she canceled Mother's Day plans. When I called my mother, she yelled at me for 'airing our dirty laundry on the internet'. I was supposed to go to my grandmother's (she lives much closer than my parents now) to do my laundry a couple of days later but didn't want there to be any tension, so I said I'd find somewhere else to do my laundry and hung up.

My mother sent me several long winded texts, pretending to take some blame but really not because she is emotionally abusive. I didn't reply because I didn't (and still don't) want to argue about this.

I did not text or call my daughter during this time because I was respecting her boundaries.

I have allowed my daughter and her fiance to have my Hulu and Netflix passwords and decided that if my daughter had not texted or called by the end of the month, then I would change the passwords and remove them from my accounts and consider myself uninvited from her wedding.

But she texted me yesterday. So, I called my mother.

She forced me into the argument I had been trying to avoid. I told her that she does not get to tell me how I use my social media accounts. She tried saying that she understands that I use it to vent but said that I shouldn't turn off comments or block people (only people I have blocked are my soon-to-be son-in-law, his mother, and the women I work with (I do not friend coworkers on social media)).

The colors my daughter has settled on are sage green and lavender (she had originally said sapphire blue since sapphire is her birthstone but changed it since it's a spring-ish wedding). I had already made a wishlist of sapphire blue dresses (I'm in the process of losing weight so won't be buying my dress until much closer to the wedding). I now need to find sage green or lavender (she has not said which color she wants me to wear).

Today she texted saying that we need to start looking for me a dress. I told her that since I'm buying my own, it will be one I can wear again and will be bought from a regular store (AKA off the rack). She said she didn't say it had to be tailored, but she wants the dress issue settled by Christmas. I didn't reply, but I will not have my dress by then, and she can just deal with it. Especially, since I don't feel like this is something I have to adhere to since my size will most likely change between Christmas and her wedding. In MARCH!

I skipped Thanksgiving with the extended family this year for reasons and a text I received from my daughter tells me I made the correct choice.

My family is all from East Texas and of Irish/Scottish descent. I know my parents are die hard Republicans (my mother has said numerous times that Obama is the anti-Christ and that the initial protests in Ferguson are signs of the end times).

According to my daughter my father and another family member (the family is so large that she only knows those that are closely related to us) were talking about the grad jury decision. She said that the man my father was talking to said that Michael Brown deserved what he got.

To restate: this white man from rural Texas said that an unarmed black man who was begging for his life deserved to be shot six times by a white cop.

And this is why I no longer vote for any person who runs on the Republican ticket.