logans_girl2001 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
logans_girl2001) wrote2016-06-25 07:42 pm
logans_girl2001) wrote2016-06-25 07:42 pm
(no subject)
Last week was just a hellish as the one before.
So it started with my daughter deciding to quit her retail job where she was making $7.25/hr and getting a job at a call center for DirecTV helping people sign up for service making $11.25/hr.
She knows about my experience working a call center answering calls from TWC customers who are calling because they're past due on their bill (which they discover when they turn on their TVs and have no service) but since this is people calling to get service the calls will be vastly different from the ones I received.
She told my mother and that was her first mistake. What follows is the text conversations that the three of us had over the span of a few days.
I've left all typos.
Mom to me
(1/2) Has [my daughter] told you she is thinking about working for a call center? I'm concerned for her about that. Don't you have to meet quote or they fire you. A
(2/2) nd then all the stress
Me
Why are you trying to discourage her from growing up? She won't know for she can handle it until she tries. If you keep knocking her down and telling her that she's made the wrong decision, something that isn't for you to decide by the way, then she's going to stop talking to you about anything. (she never responded until she sent the following message in a mass text to me and my daughter the next day)
Mom
I have prayed. Texted. Erased the text. Prayed some more.
I don't understand why my opinions, concern, worry, and advise. Seems to vome out meddling. I think part of it is it is not the answers yall want to hear. I never know if I am right or wrong in my advise. I think from my heart more than my mind. All I ever want padt present or future is to see my family members succeed in whatever they choose in life. First anf foremost is to see all of my family come to know and follow Jesus daily, and make him first in our lives
I hear and have heard how am I going to become a responsible adult if you push me down. I speak about the issues to help you see all sides.
Melissa you are doing great right now. Praying this is the long term job you have been looking for.
Victoria, it seems college at SWE was not the right timing or whatever.
Glad you want to make more money. But to decide the first to do is buy a car. Oh me oh my. We will put the car in your name let you show responsible behavior by under taking all those bills.
You have studnt loans to pay off. Loans to us.
I know you say you know all this but I think the ladt thing you need is another bill.
Grandaddy and put buying a car on old for ourselves. Much less vacations to help family members.
Melissa and Marissa are the only ones being responsible Adults to take care of the things we helped with to pay us back
I start therapy this week. I wish the whole family could go. We have past, present, and probably will have future issues to deal with.
Amber and Laci are going too. We are seen separate then Jackie will join us for family therapy
I love you both so so very much
my daughter
I cannot believe you said mom and Marissa are the only responsible adults here. I am very aware, especially since y'all keep reminding me every chance y'all get, that I owe you money. I haven't had the funds to pay bills AND pay y'all back. With this job, I will. I also never said getting a car was the FIRST thing I was gonna do. I said it was something I wanted to do. EVENTUALLY.
Mom
I am proud of the direction you have been on for the past months. Could you have done better in school yes I believe you could have. But it was not you wanted so it was an expensive lesdon learned. That is ok too. Part of growing up.
We only bring up the money because we see are hear you spending or wanting to spend money on things that could wait.
my daughter
Okay. You completely missed my point, but alright.
Mom
I asked you not to buy anything new until you paud off your Stage Bill. Thanks to me granddaddy paid it because I said we will have to pay it off eventually anyway and it will keep growing with interest.
Trying to keep the collection people off your back. Anothet time of us helping when we need to let go
my daughter
And that's literally why I'm getting this job. So you can stop helping.
Mom
Honey I know. I just know about those jobs. Can't believe your mother want warn you about how horrible it is. The turn over is also from firing if you don't meet requirements that they expect. Then you are without a job.
I know the market is limited there. Maybe there bis something in Sherman, or Denison. Data entra, reception at a clinic or you never know.
We worrid about you making this work on your income. You said if you had to get a second job you would. My heart hurts that you are struggling. I think that us why we all jumped on the band wagon for Durant. We wanted you to have a opportunity to get an education to have skills to support yourself
my daughter
Well I've already been given the job. I just need to finish paperwork. They're not going to fire me because I'm going to get my numbers
Mom
That is great!! Praying for success and happiness. Love you so much.
my daughter to me
You would think I would fucking learn to never fucking tell your mother anything.
I told her that with this new job I want to get myself my own car and either give them back the Pontiac or trade it in. I even told her that it wouldn't happen right away. She accidentally called me after we hung up and I heard her laugh and have the tone of voice like "yeah right she's delusional" to whomever she was talking to. I knew I shouldn't have told her.
Me
She really needs to learn how to text. I don't know which is more painful: her emotional abuse or her poor spelling/grammar/having multiple texts because she keeps hitting send too early.
my daughter
But still. I HATE how she tells Terri our personal business. I get they're best friends but some shit is private.
You'd think she's be happy I want to get find socially independent from them. All she did was try and change my mind and shoot me down. (all of that was in response to a text from my mother that my daughter sent me a screen shot of so I could include it here)
Me
This is the conversation I had with your grandmother last night. Does she really think I'll side with her over you? (me sending her a screen shot of the texts I started this with)
my daughter
I guess she does. I should have stopped telling her stuff a long time ago. I guess with this I've finally learned my lesson. That's part of the reason I want to do this. Is so I don't have to tell her stuff until it's already happened and there's no going back.
You got the text from grandma right?
I also never said the FIRST thing I was going to do was get a car. I said I WANTED to get a car. EVENTUALLY. and I can't believe she said that about you and marissa being the only responsible adults...
I've been saying that she's emotionally abusive but I'm not one hundred percent sure.
Then on Wednesday I was pulled into a meeting with J and L. I had asked J if I was in any trouble and she told me I wasn't. So I wasn't expecting anything other than L wanting to get to know me better.
So it hit me really hard when the first thing out of L's mouth was her saying that I had been rude and disrespectful to her the previous Monday when she told us that we could not start our work day until 7:30 at the other office. According to her I rolled my eyes and huffed. Just like when J mimed my turning my head to look at other people's desks she made it look like I stood up a little so that I could flop back into my chair and threw my arms up. I might have rolled my eyes and said 'ugh' but I doubt I threw my arms up and flopped back in my chair.
J then attacked me with issues from last month that had already been brought to my attention and fixed.
They then asked me if I had anything to say, I of course shook my head because I refuse to cry while being attacked like that. That made them angry and the started attacking me even more until I had to defend myself, which made them even angrier which ended with us almost yelling at each other and L ending the meeting after an hour (she said it was over an hour but it was just a few minutes and she made it seem like it was more than ten minutes instead of the three it was).
They asked if I need any more training and I said I don't know because most of my errors are keying errors and all the training in the world won't fix those. The rest of my errors are just me not making sure I check all the fields meant to make sure I'm keying the correct information. Again, not something that training will fix.
L said that we would meet again the next day and I had better have more to say. As soon as I got to my desk, I immediately began composing a 'letter' to 'defend' myself. But because I was busy keying, it was not written down. Which is a very good thing because that first version would have gotten my fired.
In fact, I wrote it in my head several times until I sat down at my desk Thursday morning and wrote this:
It has never been my intention to be rude or disrespectful. Part of the reason I wear headphones while working is because I often say or do things that I mean in a playful/joking manner but others do not take that way. Most of the time it is never brought to my attention; the people I have unintentionally offended just start avoiding me with no explanation.
I feel like I have communicated very well, with the exception of working over last Thursday; the reason for that is it has not been an issue when I’ve worked over unexpectedly like that before. I will start letting you (Joanne) know when I plan to work over if we have not discussed it ahead of time.
I feel like the lack of communication is not just on my part. The only example I have at this time is last Tuesday while at the Central office. I sent my first message after I had been at the office for some time. One of the other people in the room with me asked if I had received a response from you about an hour later. I stated that I had not and they suggested that I should try emailing due to the issues with the internet and the fact that my Skype is not always reliable so I’m never truly sure my messages go through and you (Lauren) more than likely have your Outlook on your phone, which you always have on you.
When you sent a message to us hours later I figured I’d try again to see if I could reach you. That is when you responded. I feel like I’m being blamed for something that is only partially my fault. It seems to me that if communication is key, as you’ve both stated several times, then a simple ‘I’ll let you know’ or ‘Check with me before you leave’ in response to my first message would have prevented me from worrying that my messages didn’t get through and would not have left me feeling like I was nagging (which is how I’ve been feeling ever since).
I understand that you were trying to put out fires and I feel badly about adding to that and just want to say that in the past my three messages in three or four hours would have been three or more in ONE hour. It is something I am aware of about myself and so I force myself to not nag or constantly poke at the person I’ve asked a question to. If I had not received an answer when I did, I probably would have sent one last message around 3 (just to make sure I didn’t miss your response) and then would have done what I did: gone back to the Central office the next day. It was not my intention to add to your stress.
I’m not sure why you (both of you) keep saying I’m not owning my job/mistakes. When a mistake is brought to my attention, I accept it and fix it (if needed) and move on with the resolve to do better. I’ve even brought mistakes to Joanne’s attention before she could see them (the few times I’ve caught them myself) and asked for assistance in fixing them if I was unsure of how to.
As for why I didn’t say anything about the mistakes Joanne mentioned yesterday, they were mostly mistakes that had already been brought to my attention and that I have already fixed. I didn’t feel there was anything to say about past mistakes (that have already been dealt with) being brought up.
All I can say is that I will try my best to not make any more mistakes but I’m human and mistakes are going to happen. I am not perfect, far from it, so I know I will make mistakes. And in the case of the keying errors I may even make the same ones more than once because sometimes my fingers get ahead of me. I try and catch them by checking that everything is zero but sometimes I don’t; I know this and I am trying to make sure I always look (yet another reason for wearing the headphones: they keep me from being distracted by my co-workers’ conversations.
I thought I had taken what Joanne said in my pre-hire meeting about listening when she shows me I’ve made a mistake instead of trying to find a reason to explain why it happened/not take ownership of it. I do apologize and can only promise to try to do better.
Also, I felt that if I had said what you were saying you wanted me to hear right after you said it, I would have made you angrier and would have been scolded for just repeating your words. I thought that explaining that I didn’t mean to be rude/disrespectful would be enough.
I had not even opened my email before writing it so once I did, I found the following email with the subject line Meeting Summary 6/22/16
This is to summarize the meeting held between [logans_girl2001], J and L on 6/22/16 from 10:30-11:30am.
[logans_girl2001 has been asked to be cognizant of the attitude she displays in the office and to be more open to being a team player.
The main errors that are made by [logans_girl2001] are as follows:
· Lack of communication
· Overcharging customers
· Misinterpreting time stamps on daily close tapes (sales reported missing when they’re not, reports that sales are combined when not)
· Failure to own her job and her mistakes
· Time management
· Prioritization/Sense of Urgency
Additional training was offered to [logans_girl2001]; she advised that she doesn’t know if it’s needed. [logans_girl2001] stated that she needed time to process the feedback before responding.
On 6/23/16 we will have a follow up meeting. [logans_girl2001] has been asked to bring with her a plan for improvement and dialogue.
So, first off, no where in the meeting on Wednesday did they mention that time management was an issue nor did they tell me to come up with a plan for improvement and dialogue.
I really, really, really wanted to just walk out or at the very least ask to take a sick day.
The both of them were also trying really hard to convince me that I need a home office despite me stating that I've discovered/decided that working from home right now is not for me.
During the meeting on Thursday, L had to take a call from the CFO and while she was out of the room, I told J about how the letter went through several versions before settling on the one I handed them (I had originally planned to read it to them but couldn't).
She asked if I wanted to tell her about the off-topic things that kept creeping into the letter. I didn't want to, but my big fucking mouth wouldn't stay shut.
I told her it was petty but I feel purposefully excluded when not asked if I want to order food with the other members of my team (K and A mostly). When L came back in she told her about it. I kept using 'I feel...' statements and they both kept telling me it's either all in my head or that I should take the initiative which tells me that neither of them suffer from anxiety and they were not hearing my words. Oh, sure they were listening to me but they either couldn't or wouldn't hear exactly what I was saying.
In the end I had to just keep quiet because my trying to explain what goes through my head when I try to take the initiative on ordering food with my team mates (but, yeah, sure, I'm the one who's not a 'team player').
So at the end of it all, I felt like when I was a kid and was forced to apologize to my bullies or the person who injured me/caused me harm.
So it started with my daughter deciding to quit her retail job where she was making $7.25/hr and getting a job at a call center for DirecTV helping people sign up for service making $11.25/hr.
She knows about my experience working a call center answering calls from TWC customers who are calling because they're past due on their bill (which they discover when they turn on their TVs and have no service) but since this is people calling to get service the calls will be vastly different from the ones I received.
She told my mother and that was her first mistake. What follows is the text conversations that the three of us had over the span of a few days.
I've left all typos.
Mom to me
(1/2) Has [my daughter] told you she is thinking about working for a call center? I'm concerned for her about that. Don't you have to meet quote or they fire you. A
(2/2) nd then all the stress
Me
Why are you trying to discourage her from growing up? She won't know for she can handle it until she tries. If you keep knocking her down and telling her that she's made the wrong decision, something that isn't for you to decide by the way, then she's going to stop talking to you about anything. (she never responded until she sent the following message in a mass text to me and my daughter the next day)
Mom
I have prayed. Texted. Erased the text. Prayed some more.
I don't understand why my opinions, concern, worry, and advise. Seems to vome out meddling. I think part of it is it is not the answers yall want to hear. I never know if I am right or wrong in my advise. I think from my heart more than my mind. All I ever want padt present or future is to see my family members succeed in whatever they choose in life. First anf foremost is to see all of my family come to know and follow Jesus daily, and make him first in our lives
I hear and have heard how am I going to become a responsible adult if you push me down. I speak about the issues to help you see all sides.
Melissa you are doing great right now. Praying this is the long term job you have been looking for.
Victoria, it seems college at SWE was not the right timing or whatever.
Glad you want to make more money. But to decide the first to do is buy a car. Oh me oh my. We will put the car in your name let you show responsible behavior by under taking all those bills.
You have studnt loans to pay off. Loans to us.
I know you say you know all this but I think the ladt thing you need is another bill.
Grandaddy and put buying a car on old for ourselves. Much less vacations to help family members.
Melissa and Marissa are the only ones being responsible Adults to take care of the things we helped with to pay us back
I start therapy this week. I wish the whole family could go. We have past, present, and probably will have future issues to deal with.
Amber and Laci are going too. We are seen separate then Jackie will join us for family therapy
I love you both so so very much
my daughter
I cannot believe you said mom and Marissa are the only responsible adults here. I am very aware, especially since y'all keep reminding me every chance y'all get, that I owe you money. I haven't had the funds to pay bills AND pay y'all back. With this job, I will. I also never said getting a car was the FIRST thing I was gonna do. I said it was something I wanted to do. EVENTUALLY.
Mom
I am proud of the direction you have been on for the past months. Could you have done better in school yes I believe you could have. But it was not you wanted so it was an expensive lesdon learned. That is ok too. Part of growing up.
We only bring up the money because we see are hear you spending or wanting to spend money on things that could wait.
my daughter
Okay. You completely missed my point, but alright.
Mom
I asked you not to buy anything new until you paud off your Stage Bill. Thanks to me granddaddy paid it because I said we will have to pay it off eventually anyway and it will keep growing with interest.
Trying to keep the collection people off your back. Anothet time of us helping when we need to let go
my daughter
And that's literally why I'm getting this job. So you can stop helping.
Mom
Honey I know. I just know about those jobs. Can't believe your mother want warn you about how horrible it is. The turn over is also from firing if you don't meet requirements that they expect. Then you are without a job.
I know the market is limited there. Maybe there bis something in Sherman, or Denison. Data entra, reception at a clinic or you never know.
We worrid about you making this work on your income. You said if you had to get a second job you would. My heart hurts that you are struggling. I think that us why we all jumped on the band wagon for Durant. We wanted you to have a opportunity to get an education to have skills to support yourself
my daughter
Well I've already been given the job. I just need to finish paperwork. They're not going to fire me because I'm going to get my numbers
Mom
That is great!! Praying for success and happiness. Love you so much.
my daughter to me
You would think I would fucking learn to never fucking tell your mother anything.
I told her that with this new job I want to get myself my own car and either give them back the Pontiac or trade it in. I even told her that it wouldn't happen right away. She accidentally called me after we hung up and I heard her laugh and have the tone of voice like "yeah right she's delusional" to whomever she was talking to. I knew I shouldn't have told her.
Me
She really needs to learn how to text. I don't know which is more painful: her emotional abuse or her poor spelling/grammar/having multiple texts because she keeps hitting send too early.
my daughter
But still. I HATE how she tells Terri our personal business. I get they're best friends but some shit is private.
You'd think she's be happy I want to get find socially independent from them. All she did was try and change my mind and shoot me down. (all of that was in response to a text from my mother that my daughter sent me a screen shot of so I could include it here)
Me
This is the conversation I had with your grandmother last night. Does she really think I'll side with her over you? (me sending her a screen shot of the texts I started this with)
my daughter
I guess she does. I should have stopped telling her stuff a long time ago. I guess with this I've finally learned my lesson. That's part of the reason I want to do this. Is so I don't have to tell her stuff until it's already happened and there's no going back.
You got the text from grandma right?
I also never said the FIRST thing I was going to do was get a car. I said I WANTED to get a car. EVENTUALLY. and I can't believe she said that about you and marissa being the only responsible adults...
I've been saying that she's emotionally abusive but I'm not one hundred percent sure.
Then on Wednesday I was pulled into a meeting with J and L. I had asked J if I was in any trouble and she told me I wasn't. So I wasn't expecting anything other than L wanting to get to know me better.
So it hit me really hard when the first thing out of L's mouth was her saying that I had been rude and disrespectful to her the previous Monday when she told us that we could not start our work day until 7:30 at the other office. According to her I rolled my eyes and huffed. Just like when J mimed my turning my head to look at other people's desks she made it look like I stood up a little so that I could flop back into my chair and threw my arms up. I might have rolled my eyes and said 'ugh' but I doubt I threw my arms up and flopped back in my chair.
J then attacked me with issues from last month that had already been brought to my attention and fixed.
They then asked me if I had anything to say, I of course shook my head because I refuse to cry while being attacked like that. That made them angry and the started attacking me even more until I had to defend myself, which made them even angrier which ended with us almost yelling at each other and L ending the meeting after an hour (she said it was over an hour but it was just a few minutes and she made it seem like it was more than ten minutes instead of the three it was).
They asked if I need any more training and I said I don't know because most of my errors are keying errors and all the training in the world won't fix those. The rest of my errors are just me not making sure I check all the fields meant to make sure I'm keying the correct information. Again, not something that training will fix.
L said that we would meet again the next day and I had better have more to say. As soon as I got to my desk, I immediately began composing a 'letter' to 'defend' myself. But because I was busy keying, it was not written down. Which is a very good thing because that first version would have gotten my fired.
In fact, I wrote it in my head several times until I sat down at my desk Thursday morning and wrote this:
It has never been my intention to be rude or disrespectful. Part of the reason I wear headphones while working is because I often say or do things that I mean in a playful/joking manner but others do not take that way. Most of the time it is never brought to my attention; the people I have unintentionally offended just start avoiding me with no explanation.
I feel like I have communicated very well, with the exception of working over last Thursday; the reason for that is it has not been an issue when I’ve worked over unexpectedly like that before. I will start letting you (Joanne) know when I plan to work over if we have not discussed it ahead of time.
I feel like the lack of communication is not just on my part. The only example I have at this time is last Tuesday while at the Central office. I sent my first message after I had been at the office for some time. One of the other people in the room with me asked if I had received a response from you about an hour later. I stated that I had not and they suggested that I should try emailing due to the issues with the internet and the fact that my Skype is not always reliable so I’m never truly sure my messages go through and you (Lauren) more than likely have your Outlook on your phone, which you always have on you.
When you sent a message to us hours later I figured I’d try again to see if I could reach you. That is when you responded. I feel like I’m being blamed for something that is only partially my fault. It seems to me that if communication is key, as you’ve both stated several times, then a simple ‘I’ll let you know’ or ‘Check with me before you leave’ in response to my first message would have prevented me from worrying that my messages didn’t get through and would not have left me feeling like I was nagging (which is how I’ve been feeling ever since).
I understand that you were trying to put out fires and I feel badly about adding to that and just want to say that in the past my three messages in three or four hours would have been three or more in ONE hour. It is something I am aware of about myself and so I force myself to not nag or constantly poke at the person I’ve asked a question to. If I had not received an answer when I did, I probably would have sent one last message around 3 (just to make sure I didn’t miss your response) and then would have done what I did: gone back to the Central office the next day. It was not my intention to add to your stress.
I’m not sure why you (both of you) keep saying I’m not owning my job/mistakes. When a mistake is brought to my attention, I accept it and fix it (if needed) and move on with the resolve to do better. I’ve even brought mistakes to Joanne’s attention before she could see them (the few times I’ve caught them myself) and asked for assistance in fixing them if I was unsure of how to.
As for why I didn’t say anything about the mistakes Joanne mentioned yesterday, they were mostly mistakes that had already been brought to my attention and that I have already fixed. I didn’t feel there was anything to say about past mistakes (that have already been dealt with) being brought up.
All I can say is that I will try my best to not make any more mistakes but I’m human and mistakes are going to happen. I am not perfect, far from it, so I know I will make mistakes. And in the case of the keying errors I may even make the same ones more than once because sometimes my fingers get ahead of me. I try and catch them by checking that everything is zero but sometimes I don’t; I know this and I am trying to make sure I always look (yet another reason for wearing the headphones: they keep me from being distracted by my co-workers’ conversations.
I thought I had taken what Joanne said in my pre-hire meeting about listening when she shows me I’ve made a mistake instead of trying to find a reason to explain why it happened/not take ownership of it. I do apologize and can only promise to try to do better.
Also, I felt that if I had said what you were saying you wanted me to hear right after you said it, I would have made you angrier and would have been scolded for just repeating your words. I thought that explaining that I didn’t mean to be rude/disrespectful would be enough.
I had not even opened my email before writing it so once I did, I found the following email with the subject line Meeting Summary 6/22/16
This is to summarize the meeting held between [logans_girl2001], J and L on 6/22/16 from 10:30-11:30am.
[logans_girl2001 has been asked to be cognizant of the attitude she displays in the office and to be more open to being a team player.
The main errors that are made by [logans_girl2001] are as follows:
· Lack of communication
· Overcharging customers
· Misinterpreting time stamps on daily close tapes (sales reported missing when they’re not, reports that sales are combined when not)
· Failure to own her job and her mistakes
· Time management
· Prioritization/Sense of Urgency
Additional training was offered to [logans_girl2001]; she advised that she doesn’t know if it’s needed. [logans_girl2001] stated that she needed time to process the feedback before responding.
On 6/23/16 we will have a follow up meeting. [logans_girl2001] has been asked to bring with her a plan for improvement and dialogue.
So, first off, no where in the meeting on Wednesday did they mention that time management was an issue nor did they tell me to come up with a plan for improvement and dialogue.
I really, really, really wanted to just walk out or at the very least ask to take a sick day.
The both of them were also trying really hard to convince me that I need a home office despite me stating that I've discovered/decided that working from home right now is not for me.
During the meeting on Thursday, L had to take a call from the CFO and while she was out of the room, I told J about how the letter went through several versions before settling on the one I handed them (I had originally planned to read it to them but couldn't).
She asked if I wanted to tell her about the off-topic things that kept creeping into the letter. I didn't want to, but my big fucking mouth wouldn't stay shut.
I told her it was petty but I feel purposefully excluded when not asked if I want to order food with the other members of my team (K and A mostly). When L came back in she told her about it. I kept using 'I feel...' statements and they both kept telling me it's either all in my head or that I should take the initiative which tells me that neither of them suffer from anxiety and they were not hearing my words. Oh, sure they were listening to me but they either couldn't or wouldn't hear exactly what I was saying.
In the end I had to just keep quiet because my trying to explain what goes through my head when I try to take the initiative on ordering food with my team mates (but, yeah, sure, I'm the one who's not a 'team player').
So at the end of it all, I felt like when I was a kid and was forced to apologize to my bullies or the person who injured me/caused me harm.