January 2014

[logans_girl2001]

1/1/14

I don't really do resolutions but I've been told a lot over the years that I complain a lot so what I've decided to not complain when someone does something for me without my asking or if I'm not specific when I ask for something. Case in point: I woke up sick Friday and my daughter told my mother who brought me a can of chicken noodle soup on Saturday. But she didn't bring me any crackers. See, I don't like my soup to be soupy. But I did not say that to her. I just thanked her for the soup.

1/9/14

I've been fighting a nasty head cold for nearly two weeks now. I'm finally almost over it but it has left behind one annoying symptom: difficulty breathing.

Now, because of my weight I do get winded rather easy but this past week has been really bad.

I stopped at Wal-Mart on my way home from work today and by the time I got back to the car I was nearly light headed from being out of breath.

I had decided months ago to start losing weight but needed the money to by some workout clothes. I was able to do that last week. I bought a pair of yoga pants (plan on taking a yoga class at some point), a matching shirt and jacket (when it's warmer in the mornings I plan on walking outside).

I was going to wait until I could get me a sports bra (don't feel like killing myself trying to work out in a regular bra that barely supports me just walking around) but after having sweat pour down my face while opening packages at work and it taking nearly ten minutes for me to catch my breath after shopping at Wal-Mart, I'm just going to go ahead and start working out in the mornings before work.

I'll take a picture on Monday and then another every time I notice a difference in how my clothes fit. Since I don't know how much I currently weigh, and refuse to find out, that is how I will monitor my weight loss.

My goal is a size fourteen by my forty-fifth birthday. I think taking five (okay, four and a half) years to go from a size twenty-six/twenty-eight to a fourteen is very doable.

1/10/14

I really wanted to start working out Monday but I got majorly winded just walking from my bed to the bathroom.

My ex is a fucking idiot. I get child support every two weeks on Thursdays because I get it direct deposited onto a Visa debit card. I didn't notice that I didn't receive notification of the deposit yesterday until late.

When it still hadn't happened by the time I got to work this morning, I texted the current wife to ask if it had been taken out of his last check. She replied that he didn't get a check after the one the week before Christmas. I asked why not and she said he quit because he couldn't get along with his boss. Boo-fucking-hoo. Suck it up and wait until I no longer need your fucking money to support your daughter, you ass.

She says she'll double next week's payment. But what I want to know is why she didn't pay it last week so she doesn't have to pay $221.54 all at once.

This just means that I'll have to use my pay check to buy food this week and since I was unprepared to do that (I bought a couple hundred dollars worth of new clothes) I'll have to buy just necessities right now and a bit more next week when I get paid. And then can get a ton the following week.

1/17/14

I stopped at Wal-Mart on my way home tonight. While getting milk, I stopped to look at the rack of day-old baked goods. I was standing rather close to the rack, because I'm always conscious of the other people in the area, and there was enough space between me and the milk cases that one of those motorized carts and a person could have passed side-by-side. And yet this guy in one of those carts kept saying, "Excuse me" as he drove around it, and me.

Did he really want me to step back so that he could get at all the baked goods? If so, how rude! If not, why was he saying it?

1/18/14

I woke up at 6:30 to go to the bathroom and while sitting on the toilet (still peeing, mind you) the muscle that runs down the inside of the thigh (I think it's the groin muscle?) started to cramp. Since it took me nearly five minutes to walk it out, I decided to just go ahead and get up and start walking.

I am embarrassed to say I didn't even make it out of the parking lot before I had to turn back because I was breathing so hard that I got so dry that I started to cough and was afraid I was going to puke.

In fact, I've been back for nearly half an hour and I'm still breathing harder than my usual resting breathing rate. Of course that could be partially due to my taking a shower but whatever.

The point is: I DID IT! I actually got out and walked.

Monday's goal is to not have to turn back until I've listened to two songs. When I bought my workout clothes I got a free water bottle. I thought I'd give it to my daughter but after nearly puking in the parking lot, I can see I'll have to carry it with me.

1/20/14

Despite not wanting to, and my back hurting, I got up and walked. And didn't get any further than Saturday. But that's not the point right now. The point is that I did it. And will keep doing it, hoping I can go a bit further each time. I know that eventually I will be able to but right now it is a bit discouraging to not be able to get very far.

1/22/14

When I paid my cable/internet bill this month, I noticed that it had gone up nearly $10. I know charges go up over time but I thought my contract wasn't over until June. Then today I got a letter from my cable/internet company stating that my PIN had been changed, added or deleted so I went to the website to see what happened. While there I saw that they're running a special right now so I signed up for another two-year contract and now my bill is less than $100. Of course this is minus the two DVRs and any taxes and fees that apply. But as long as it's less than the $156.98 I paid this past weekend then I'll be happy.

1/25/15

I stopped at my mother's earlier to pick up some chicken breasts she had for me and found out that a guy I've had a crush on for the longest time, since I was in elementary school, was recently killed in a motorcycle accident. I haven't seen Bobby in years, since Titanic was in the theaters the first time, but the news of his death has still hit me rather hard.

1/31/14

Why doesn't anyone love me? My daughter just moved out. She has my mother convinced that all we do is argue. My mother is once again calling me an angry miserable person. And last time I spoke to my SIL she told me she thinks I'm bi-polar. I wish my family would stop trying to diagnose me.